Life in the Fish Bowl
by Kita chan
Summary: Silly stories about life on the Watchtower. Warning, some Suggestive content and possible ooc. Current Chapter: Communication. The Flash learns that just because you have the abitily to communicate doesn't mean you should.
1. Popsicle

**Life in the Fish Bowl**

_**Popsicle**_

**A/N: This was just something silly that popped into my head and clearly I listen to way to much George Carlin. No real continuity, just for fun. If you want one….I guess it fits into the new 52 somehow.**

Arthur was confused when he entered the watchtower's kitchen. It was set up much like that of an office break room, where the windows opened up into space and nothing more. The void was something one could get lost in watching. But Arthur wasn't there for that. He had come in for food from the well-stocked fridge before his monitor shift but found himself watching Batman and Green Lantern. Batman and the Green Lantern were across the room, in a corner, Hal, eating a bowl of cereal, and Bruce drinking a cup of coffee. Either was saying anything to one another just watching a person across the room, Diana.

Arthur headed over to the table with the two men, mostly because he wanted to know why they were watching her like a cat that had gotten ahold of a large bowl of cream. Their large Chester cat grins were hard to ignore and being that they never seemed to get along, it was unnerving. "Wh-" He didn't get to finish the word, before Hal had constructed a gag over the King of the sea's mouth. Bruce pressed a finger to his lips, and then pointed. That is when Arthur saw it.

Diana had spread out a lot of her magazines that Colonel Trevor had sent up for her, she being his favorite. As she flipping through them she was snacking on a grape Popsicle. And that was what the men were watching, the Popsicle, hanging out causally in her hand. She causally licked the tip, before sticking the whole length in her mouth for a long suck. It left her mouth with an audible pop. She held it out as she read something in the magazine in front of her. For a moment or two she seemed absorbed in the magazine, and the Popsicle began to drip down her fingers. She took to licking them and then down the length of the Popsicle to catch more drips. Her tongue encircled the length, before she shoved it back into her mouth.

Arthur got why they were watching now. He figured they were all having the same collective thought about Diana and her clearly skillful tongue. He sat down beside them because standing made him feel awkward. So the three men sat, Batman still stoic drinking his coffee, just the grin giving away his thoughts that appeared when he though it was covered by the mug; Hal with his hand resting on his chin looking longing and licking his own lips every now and in between spoonful of cereal; and Arthur, mostly likely the most awkward, staring straight at her, as if she was naked mostly because he had nothing to do with his hands. They watched as she licked, sucked and enjoyed her Popsicle.

Diana didn't seem to notice. She was enjoying whatever magazines the Colonel had sent her; unaware of anyone was thinking anything about her. She continued to enjoy her Popsicle, when an idea hit her. While she was enjoying the taste; it felt awkward having the whole thing sticking out of her mouth. She glanced at the Popsicle, for a second or two, then bit the tip off, holding the ice treat on her tongue with her mouth closed.

The reaction from the other side of the room was the same for all three men, a sharp intake of air and a raise of the right leg for a little bit. Diana turned to look at them, with her mouth full, asked, "Something wrong?"

"Everything is fine. Fine over here." Hal answered quickly, getting very interested in his bowl of cereal, not making eye contact with anyone.

Batman grunted and finished his coffee in one gulp, "Gotham needs me." He said to no one in particular, getting up and tossing his mug in the sink before leaving the kitchen as if he had never been involved. Or had been thinking dirty thoughts about a teammate.

Arthur looked down and realized he had nothing to busy himself with. He looked over at Hal and realized that the Green Lantern was not going to help him at all. "I….Have to get to monitor duty, I should get on that." He said, getting up forgetting whatever reason he had come into the kitchen in the first place.

It wasn't til a few hours later that Arthur realized that he was hungry.


	2. The Milk

The Milk

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews and the Follows. I hope you all enjoy this. And I know, I'm weird. And here is a shameless plug for my friend's, Lightdragon1987's story Superbat. If you think my stuff is funny you would really like her's. Yet again, no real canon at all, but if you want one, new 52 when Trevor is still alive.**

"Hey Bats, you wanna join us? We're watching Top Gear!" Hal Jordan of the Green Lantern Corp shouted as Gotham's Dark Knight slipped passed the couch were himself, Superman, and the Flash were seated eating a large bowl of popcorn and watching TV. There was something nice about having a TV that the government bought to keep you happy. Especially when it was on the large side. It made Sunday night Football awesome.

Batman cocked his head and looked at the three men. He muttered something to them, before heading into the commissary. Hal looked back at the other two men, "What did he say?"

"I think that was Bat speak." Barry Allen answered, before tossing a piece of popcorn up into the air and catching it into his month. "He hasn't had his coffee yet. You know you don't talk to Batman until he has at least one cup. Two to be on the safe side."

Batman listen to the men talking as he made his coffee. The coffee maker was the one thing that Bruce knew how to work completely. As it finished, he got his bat symbol mug out and poured the coffee into it. _Now just a little milk and it will be perfect._ He got the milk out of the fridge and opened the lid. The smell, the awful, paint peeling smell began to seep into his nose. "OH DEAR LORD!" He shouted, "OH GOD WHY?" It was a smell that could have killed a man. He slammed the lid on quickly and began to cough. He had never smelt anything like it in his life. And his superheroing involved running around in sewers a lot more than he cared to admit.

Clark and Hal were in the door way within seconds, "What? What is it?"

"SMELL!" The Batman said, reopening the milk and pulling his cape over his nose. The two men had different reactions. Hal face twisted up but he fared better than Superman, who fell to the floor gasping for air. Hal had both hands over his nose, trying to keep the smell from getting up there, but it wasn't working. He was trying to hold in a few gasps but found they were slipping out. Superman was on the floor, gagging and also trying to plug his nose.

"CLOSE IT! CLOSE IT!" Superman shouted, wondering about what God hated him so to give him super smell. He was on the floor, clawing at his nose. Batman slapped the lid back on the milk and the super powered man recovered. "What is that?" He asked, getting up and peering at the milk with his xray vision. "And why is it pink?"

Batman looked at the label. "It says it is two percent."

"Screw that, Trevor is sending us nonfat from now on." Hal said, grabbing the carton of milk from Batman then looked at the two men in front of him. "Now what do we do with it."

The two other men looked at the carton in the Lantern's hand, then at each other. Clark voiced Bruce's Thought, "We have to have Barry smell it."

"NOT ON YOUR LIFE!" The Flash shouted from the other room, "I have smelled enough things for you Hal Jordan." There was a silent that followed with a lot of questions that were not voiced aloud. "Hey, you guys should check out this car, it's amazing!"

Hal looked to Clark to help but the superman shook his head, "I'm not chasing, and holding him down to smell that….we have to get rid of it."

Hal looked at the milk in his hand, "You found it. You get rid of it." He shoved the milk back in Batman's hands. "I don't think it can go down the sink….not if we want to use it ever again."

The Batman looked at the milk in his hand, and then cracked a smile. "I have an idea." He declared, brushing passed the two men.

Moments later, the four men were standing in front of the air lock. "So what do you think will happen?" The Flash asked, looking at the milk carton as waiting for it's ride out of the air lock. "I mean, you think it will pop?"

The Batman stroked his face for a second, "Well, it does have some air in the carton," he shrugged before hitting the red button and shooting the milk out into space. The men watched as it floated out, slowly but surely opening, sending pink, chunky, milk out into the vacuum of space. The Pink Milk, shifted shape a few time, before floating out of sight.

The four watched, their heads cocked, before the Green Lantern spoke, "You feel like this is going to come back and bite us in the ass?"

"Why would it?" Barry asked, still watching the pink milk float.

Hal shrugged, leaving his hands open looking at Barry, "Because it's us?"

Batman took a sip out of his black coffee, "He does have a point." He said, before walking away from the three other men. "But I doubt it." He called back. _Note to self, black coffee from now on._


	3. Communication

**Life in the Fish Bowl**

**Communication**

**A/N: I was planning on a chapter with a sick Batman….but that is taking longer than I thought. So enjoy immature Batman and Green Lantern while I get it sorted out. This was just in my head, like all the other silly crap. Enjoy. Thanks for all the Favorites, Follows, and Reviews. New 52 canon, you know the drill.**

Hal knew what Bruce was thinking when he watched the Batman stare at the bulletin board. "Who's idea was this?" The Batman asked, a bit confused, as the Board itself wasn't too bad.

Okay, it looked like something a third grade teacher would have for their classroom, but still, it wasn't too bad. There was a chores list that had to be ticked off, and a few other silly jokes and such nonsense. There were a few clippings about the teams exploits.

"The Flash." Hal was back to raiding the fridge. He had nothing at home again, and didn't want to have to stop at the store when he got home. The week had been long and he just wanted to sleep. And never seen another alien but that was a different story all together.

"Why?" The Batman had moved over to get some coffee, before coming back to look at the board. He picked a pin off the board and stabbed it into a new place on the cork.

"He wanted us to have something to communicate with each other. Something about promoting togetherness within the team." Hal shrugged, "Or some crap like that. I wasn't listening that hard."

"Okay….why? What would be put on this, when our kids have dance recitals?" The Batman crossed his arm, leaning up against the counter. He took a sip out of his coffee. "Sell used work out equipment? We are _not_ a coffee shop."

"You have kids?" It was a question, with a head cocked like Hal was trying to get into his head that someone, somewhere might want to have a child with the Batman. And he shivered at the thought.

"No….Do you?"

"No…." The two men looked at each other with a bit of a shrug. They worked well enough to not need to know when they both stopped wetting the bed. It appeared the Flash wasn't of the same agreement. Hal went back to stealing more food out of the fridge.

"So….what would be the point to this?"

"Let me put it to you this way, when was the last time you saw Aquaman?"

He watched the Batman look at his hands, counting the days on his fingers. "That's a fair point I guess."

Hal and him looked at the Bulletin Board together, not sure what to do. Then it was like a light bulb went off above their heads. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Oh yea!" They were going to converse with the Flash.

* * *

Barry saw it the second he entered the commissary, the bulletin board, and the sign. The sign that simply read, _If you cum in the Commissary, think of the rest of us, and clean up after yourself. _Under that, clearly written in Cyborg's hand, _Come on Guys, this is where the food lives._

"God damn middle schoolers."


End file.
